About Us
Noëlle's Telling
Where to start? In some ways my story begins back when I was a student at Franciscan University. It was then that I met Christopher Chapman and Rob Corzine. It was also then that I convinced my parents to buy a house as a rental property for all the children they would have attending the University. It would be many years before all three of these events converged with the arrival of Emily Stimpson in Steubenville. It was Emily’s intersection with my past that led to me meeting Tom.
Tom and I first met in a bar on a cold January evening in Washington, D.C. I was living in Virginia and had run over to the Dubliner to greet my friends Emily, Chris, and Rob who were in town for the March for Life. I had heard the name Tom Crowe a number of times, from Emily especially, but had never before met this mysterious person. The meeting was not momentous. It lasted no longer than a quick hello and I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have been able later to pick him out of a line up if I had to!
Fast forward about a year or a half and I was in Steubenville to attend the St. John Bosco Conference at the University. As usual when visiting in Steubenville I was staying with Emily. While I was there Emily hosted a small dinner parter and Tom was among the guests. I remember him standing in Emily’s kitchen. I’m pretty sure he had a drink in hand. And, I remember him talking about two topics: having just been in Arizona with his father for spring training and the research he was doing as part of the American Catholic Almanac project. I thought he sounded like a person I’d enjoy talking to more. I mean what girl wouldn’t listen to a guy talking about spring training and be instantly intriqued? It was after this dinner that Emily first broached the subject of Tom as a potential dating partner to me. But, as many of my friends had suggested matches to me that left me thinking, “what were they thinking!” and as I was pretty sure Tom hadn’t noticed me at all, I promptly forgot Emily’s suggestion.
Another year went by and it was July 2015 and I was back in Steubenville for the same conference. This time it was Rob’s birthday and Emily had invited me to join the group going out to dinner in Pittsburgh. As Emily was going ahead to Pittsburgh to meet Chris (they were dating at the time) she left a message that I would be picked up. So, there I was, waiting in Emily’s living room with the rain coming down outside when that guy who had talked about baseball and Catholic history a year before knocked on the door. When we got to the restaurant Tom and I ended up sitting across from each other at one end of the table. I didn’t engineer it and I don’t think anyone else did either. But there we were. And we got along. Very well. I don’t remember all the conversation, but I do remember that we discovered that we had both been in Italy at the same time in 2011. That led to some fun conversation about Italy and Rome in particular. What I do know is that the conversation just flowed. It was so easy and fun. Perhaps I should have realized then that something was happening, especially when Rob kept making comments about how similar our life experiences had been, but I was just enjoying a good conversation. I wasn’t thinking at all about dating! So, I was a little startled later that evening when Tom asked me to go to dinner with him the next night. Not because I didn’t want to, but because the thought really hadn’t crossed my mind! When I told Emily the next morning she repeated what she had told me a year earlier, that she thought Tom and I would make a great match. That’s when I remembered, ‘Oh, I think she said that before!” But, I was still skeptical.
We did go to dinner, and it was nice. Then I went back to Virginia. I thought that I might see him again in a few months, perhaps again in January at the March for Life. But, then he started texting me. Then, about a week or two later he called me. It was after that phone call that I knew this had the potential for something special. But, it would take a while for both of us to be fully ready to pursue a serious relationship. We even took a break in communicating for several months in the spring of 2016. It was a difficult time and I spent a lot of time running to the Blessed Mother for guidance. I was driving back and forth from upstate New York to Virginia at least a couple of times a month and I would take the opportunity of passing Mount St. Mary’s (where I knew Tom had spent a few years in seminary) to talk to Mary. Those who have been to Emmitsburg know that there is a lovely statue of Mary on a very tall pedestal that can been easily seen when passing. So, several times a month I would pass and would have a brief conversation with Mary. Then, one day in early June, just as I was passing Mount St. Mary’s and having my usual talk, I received a Facebook message from Tom. Sometimes prayers are answered in subtle ways. Not mine!
I still wasn’t sure if Tom was interested in a relationship but I was willing to talk to him and see what happened. So, on July 1, 2016, at the wedding of our good friends Emily and Chris, Tom and I had the opportunity to talk. It was during that talk that Tom asked me if I would be open to marrying him! I wasn’t expecting that question as we hadn’t even been talking for a few months! But I really appreciated his directness and the fact that he was obviously ready to pursue a serious relationship. So, I said yes with no hesitation. I’m so glad that I did!
The best word Tom and I have used to describe our relationship is “natural.” It has been so natural to be with Tom. We’ve followed a rather unusual course to engagement and soon marriage, but it’s been what was best for us. Each day I’m still amazed at the naturalness of being together. It brings me such joy. I can’t wait for this coming July!
Our Approach
Tom's Telling
It began one evening in July 2015.
Well, really, it began long before that, but it began in earnest one evening in July 2015.
Prior to that evening in July 2015 we'd heard each other's names from mutual friends, been introduced at a few functions, that sort of thing.
But you know, you meet lots of people in that casual sort of way.
Then one evening in July 2015 there was a birthday party dinner for Rob Corzine the same weekend as the St. John Bosco Conference at Franciscan University of Steubenville. Noëlle was in town for Bosco and Rob was a friend of hers too, so she joined us for the birthday party dinner. It was at a nice Italian restaurant on Mount Washington, high above downtown Pittsburgh.
Prior to that birthday party dinner I'd been told by one or another mutual friend that Noëlle and I would probably make a great couple and that we should be set up with one another. I wasn't actively looking for a spouse. I wasn't getting my hopes up. I wasn't diving in, because you know, after a while at my stage of life you've been told enough times by enough friends about enough potential spouses, you just kind of assume it's because your friends are just being nice.
So we all went to this birthday dinner party in July 2015.
I'm ninety-nine percent certain no one of the other eight people in our group engineered, conspired, arranged, or otherwise cajoled the seating arrangement to make it this way, but Noëlle and I ended up sitting across from one another at the end of the large rectangular table. I didn't want to allow a setup so I had consciously made an effort to avoid that sort of arrangement without being, you know, awkward about not sitting at the end of the large table across from her. But alas, there I found myself.
No seriously, there I found myself.
We had a great time. We conversed mostly with one another, sometimes with the other eight people to my right—her left. I don't recall the topics of conversation, but you know, in those sorts of conversations the exact topics don't matter, it's about realizing that you're getting a feel for the person behind the conversation.
We looked at the menu, I thought about the steak but was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to finish the big one myself. She offered to help finish it. So we got the steak—the big one—with some salads, and we had none to take home.
By the end of the birthday party dinner there was just one thought: "that felt so natural." I hadn't felt that way about such a conversation before.
In retrospect, that was the moment when I knew—even if I didn’t know what—that here was someone whom I could spend the rest of my life with, who I could trust to help me get to heaven, and whose life I wanted to be a part of, whose joys and woes and ups and down and fears and strengths I felt entirely at peace with.
Sounds grandiose, sure, but it was there that quickly and obviously.
It took a while longer for me to get over my hurdles, but with the gentle nudging of good friends, especially Emily Chapman, I managed to.
It was after Emily and Chris Chapman’s wedding reception on July 1, 2016 that I asked Noëlle if she would date me, with a clear intention of pursuing marriage with all prudent haste.
Since this website exists and you are reading these words, clearly it was and is.
As Christmas 2016 approached I endeavored to acquire a suitable, beautiful, classic ring and surprised her with a proposal following Midnight Mass on Christmas. She was appropriately stunned, I was giddy, and she said "yes."
A lot has changed, grown, developed, and happened since that birthday party dinner for Rob in July 2015, but the most important change is that what I knew darkly at the end of that party I now know much more brightly and can express out in the light: I love Noëlle and I am looking forward to the day we each say "I do" with a joy and peace that mere mortals should not be allowed lest we forsake the pursuit of heaven.
I am a fortunate, blessed, and happy man.
God be praised.